Causes of Divorce

In 2005, the rate of divorce per 1,000 people was 3.6%. Money, sex, abuse, alcohol, religion, lack of communication, and time are all common causes of divorce. Most couples stay married for convenience, or for their children. Couples allow themselves to get caught up with the distractions of life, leaving little time for communication and understanding their feelings.

Money is the primary cause of divorce in the U.S. Many couples fail to express spending habits, expectations, and pre-existing monetary habits. It is not until later that they find out about prior debts or an inability to save money. This can create rifts and mistrust in the relationship. Other couples don’t know what their spouse expects or requires of them. Many women expect to be stay at home mothers, while the men want equality and expect the women to help make money. Instead of communicating and working on the relationship, each spouse resents the other, leading to fights and divorce.

Many men and women consider infidelity to be unforgivable. Often, infidelity is caused by problems in the couple’s sex life. When a spouse feels their partner fails to fill the sexual desires, they are “forced” to use outside means to fulfill them. This can sometimes be caused by health issues or lack of sexual desire. Embarrassment or lingering resentment can lead to a lack of communication. This causes a rift that is often insurmountable. As the couple talks less and decreases their sexual activity, the problem grows and an outside source of sexual satisfaction can become a large role in the partner’s life. It can come in the form of masturbation or infidelity. This path often leads to divorce.

Alcohol addiction is another common cause of divorce. Alcoholism can be caused by depression, stress, or even boredom. This condition amplifies prior issues and problems. As the amount of time spent drunken increases, the communication, sexual activity, and financial stability start to deteriorate. More fights spawn from misspoken words and drunken attitudes.

Children can also be a cause of divorce. Many people correlate marriage with children, and begin working on that as soon as possible, without consulting their partner beforehand. Children bring stress and financial issues, as well as another distraction to prevent communication between the couple. Some spouses have children to try and save a failing relationship. This can help a marriage, but usually causes a greater falling out after time.

Falling out of love is another common reason for divorce. This usually comes from a gap in maturity, or from a lifestyle change. This point of view change occurs when only one partner outgrows immature actions, or is no longer interested in the life and happenings of their mate. This results in a different view of love and being loved, and leads to change.

Abuse can come in various forms and is an increasingly common cause of divorce. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse all do damage to a marriage. These often go together with one spouse dealing all three forms at once. Physical, verbal, and sexual abuse are all causes of emotional abuse, and can scar someone both physically and mentally. Victims are often too afraid to leave the abusive spouse, but it is still a common cause of divorce. Emotional abuse can make the victim feel like they deserve the punishment, and prevent them from seeking outside help.

Sometimes one spouse becomes so overwhelmed or afraid of the situation they abandon the marriage. Many spouses every year disappear from their families because of abuse, sexual inadequacy, or mental incompatibility.

Every situation is unique and it is up to the individuals to decide if it’s worth working through. Not every couple that experiences these problems is bound for divorce. Communication is a factor common in happy relationships. Express your feelings, wants, and needs to your partner prior to marriage. Most fights are misunderstandings that are blown out of proportion. If you feel uncomfortable or out of place with any aspect of your marriage, talk and have an open mind.